So while on Vacation, I wrote a short piece which I’m really proud of. Because of this, I want to share it with you.
To set the scene, my depressed 16 year old character slices his arms up with a razor blade and then attempts suicide. His father then has him talk to a psychiatrist. This is a bit of the conversation.
Please feel free to critique and leave a comment.
(Warning, talk of suicide.)
I stare at my feet for several moments. “I want to die.” I say.
“Tell me why.”
This is said so calmly, it throws me off guard. “I…. I don’t think I can.”
“Just try.” She encourages.
“Well…” My eyes wander the room and then I’m speaking. After keeping everything to myself for such a long time, it feels good to finally talk about it.”Because I’m so unhappy. I’m a deeply unhappy person. My family hates me and I’m just a burden on them. I make so many trouble for them. Like right now, my dad’s out there wishing he was at home. And my brother Ben was arrested at the hospital. All because of me.” I stop talking and wipe at my eyes, which are getting moist. “It hurts.” My voice cracks. “It hurts so bad. I’m trying to stop the pain, but I can’t. How come I’m screaming, so loud, all the time and no one hears?”
My fingers reach out and touch the bandages on my arms. “It doesn’t hurt like these. Or my head. It’s deeper, so much deeper. And I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of being ignored in my own family. I’m sick and tired of being abandoned and left alone. No one cares, not anyone. I just want to die and be at peace. Please.”
There is a slight pause as I wipe at my face again. “I’m such a burden… All week my family has been trying to have a good time. Christmas is coming and they have a new baby. Everyone was decorating the tree and I ruined the whole thing. All I make is problems. I know, your job is to keep me from killing myself, but please I want to so so bad. My dad has lots of other kids, I’ve had my time. His other kids will be better off when I’m gone.
I look the doctor in the eye. “I just can’t take it anymore and if I wasn’t around, everything would be better.”