Posted in writing

The grief cycle.

Since I’m going through it, and since writing is very therapeutic for me, I felt like I should write about it and how it can impact different character’s.

First, I want to say everyone is different. Which is why, if you’re going to write about death, all the character’s can’t react the same way. So many different things factor into it.

For an example, my grandfather passed away from cancer a few years ago. My grandmother was heartbroken, because they married at 19 and she moved from her parents home in with him. She had never lived alone. So in the months afterward, she sold almost all his things, sold the house they lived in for 18 years and remarried a year and a half later. Because for her, living in an empty house with all his possessions was agonizing. It was easier for her to heal in another place.

The Kübler-Ross model (which I do not own) for grief, after the initial shock wears off, is as follows.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Everyone is different. For me, through the death of my close friend, I’ve been going through both denial and depression. Back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes the blinds will lift a little. I heard a bird singing a sweet song, someone made me smile.

And then bam, the depression and misery is back. Your friend just freaking died. Touches of anger here and there, but not really that much.

But for characters, it can be radically different. Sometimes people feel really numb and just don’t accept what’s going on. Maybe they’re extremely angry at the person who died.

Also how they cope is another big one. It’s really hard in the weeks afterward. I had to take a few days off of work to deal with this, while other’s, it’s helpful to go through the motions and keep the mind busy. Some people need to cry it out, while others just go on with life.

Everyone is different.

In the end though, maybe a character reached acceptance with the death sooner or later. Or some people never accept it and have to deal with these problems for the rest  of their lives.

It’s hard stuff.

As for me, I’m doing okay. Struggling, but I’ve had amazing support from both family and friends in this dark time, as well as going to talk to a therapist. It’s not weak to seek out help. No one is made out steel, everyone needs help sometimes.. And that’s what is really important. Taking care of yourself (Or your character) Until things go back to normal.

Anyway, I’ve already started looking into self publishing. Not because I want to make money off Mark’s book in anyway, but because I want it to be read. He worked too hard on it for it to be forgotten.

He deserves this.

However, I know next to nothing about self publishing. But that’s what this blog is about my journey to becoming a published author. So I’m going to document every crazy step and pitfall I come across until I have a beautiful book in front of me.

And then I’m going to market the crap out of it ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

As for my books, I am extremely close to finishing editing book one. Like almost there, I can taste it. I’ve kinda put off writing four right now due to shock. I will get back to it, but I just… I don’t know. I will finish, I know that. it’s just going to be hard for a bit. However, I am going to get a huge jump on editing the next one. While working on self publishing. Plus working, living my life, and I’m going to start taking a class soon.

It’s going to be busy. But that’s how I function.

~Ames

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Author:

Hi, I'm Ames! Welcome to my blog. About me Female Favorite foods: Apples, fried chicken and grilled cheese sandwiches. Hobbies: Traveling, reading, learning languages, writing and cooking. Favorite TV show: Big Bang theory. Hopes for this blog: People I don't personally know read my blog.

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